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d8rkmessngrAuthor: d8rkmessngr
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/?, Jack/Ianto eventually, het and slash
Rating: NC-17 (betaed)
Summary: He left Jack on the game station. Abandoned. But then…he came back…different. An AU look on what happens if things happened differently. Doctor Who 'verse with Torchwood later on. Be sure to read the warnings.
Warnings: Please read each chapter's individual warnings. Some parts down the road may briefly mention non-con, abuse, and/or violence. Dark in the beginning. Please note there are some dark thoughts as my boys are broken…for now. Each chapter will be labeled for your convenience.
Author's Notes: Please note this is an AU that will cross over DW to TW season one. I'm probably spoiling my own story, but it will eventually be Janto. There's a bit of a journey first. I hope you enjoy. I'm working on this and intend to post regularly every other day. And again, I always believe in happy endings. So without further ado…
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Warning For This Chapter: The slash part of the story here. SMUT. Dark, suicide themes. You were warned. :)
Notes For This Chapter: Note there are parallels to TW's "Out of Time"
Prologue + Ch , Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13,Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18. Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28, Ch 29 Act 1/6, Ch 29 Act 2/6, Ch 29 Act 3/6 & 4/6
Master Fic List: here
Chapter 29 "Out of Time"
Act V: "John's witnessing the end of his world, the end of his line. And we can't help."
December 22
It left a bad taste in his mouth watching John across his desk. The man sniffed loudly, blowing his nose into a handkerchief.
It was the final straw when John couldn't count out the right change for the bus after the nursing home. In a way, Jack could sympathize, but unlike him, John didn't have Torchwood to bury himself in.
When people get older, they tend to get colder, more weatherworn. Jack thought watching what was happening with John, with Emma and Diane, would just be like yet another victim of the Rift. It took and it gave back, whether intact or not, on a whim but it was never personal. Hence, Jack tried to treat it as such, as just one more phenomena Torchwood needed to archive or fix.
There was no way to fix this. Just like him.
Jack watched John take a gulp of the brandy Jack kept in the decanter by his desk. The amber liquid was found in a bottle tucked in a drawer at the bottom. Another artifact from Hopkins' rule. It was already half-empty.
"What is this Rift?" John spoke finally, looking into the snifter with dull eyes.
"We're not really sure."
"Why does it do this? Take people away from their world and abandons them in the future?"
Stomach leaden, Jack couldn't think of a good enough response. Jack could see Ianto and Tosh outside, tentatively orbiting around his office, looking both eager and reluctant to come in. Jack gave a mild headshake to them as John finished his drink. The two exchanged a look, lingered a bit longer before finally returning to their stations. Ianto settled his fingertips on the glass, however, his eyes on Jack in a silent moment of communication before he left.
Jack smiled tiredly. It felt like a hand cupped to the back of his neck again.
"Can't we just go back into this thing?"
Jack leveled a grim gaze at him. "There's no guarantee you'll return back home. I can't even promise you'll come through alright."
"Well you have all these fancy gadgets and machines, can't they take us back?"
Jack stared at him, never averting his gaze as he replied, "No." It would do them no good to hold on to such hope.
John didn't argue with him after that. He didn't offer another suggestion. His broad shoulders dropped and suddenly he looked very small. John felt small, crying on Jack's shoulder by the bus stop. It was only because he thought Jack was lost like him that John allowed himself this one weakness. But Jack wasn't lost. He was trapped, but it was a distinction he couldn't bring himself to point out.
"My boy's a fireman," John said all of the sudden with a little pride. "Just like his old man during the war." He smiled, but then it faltered. "Was. He was a fireman." John set the glass down rubbed his forehead. "I never got to see it."
"I read his record," Jack offered. "He saved many lives. You would be proud—"
"I was proud the moment I held him when he was born!"
Jack's mouth pressed thin. "You can't do anything to change the past—"
"That wasn't the past! It was my life!" John shot up to his feet. "I would have been dead by now and never known what became of my boy!"
"But now you do," Jack pointed out quietly.
John shook his head. He squeezed his eyes shut. "But I didn't want to know this! I would have died with hope, knowing my boy might turn out…how do I live on knowing what I know now? No parent ever wants to know this!" Anguish leeched the color from John's gaze. He looked so old now.
"I still see him sitting on my knee, punching the air. That…that wasn't my boy back there. It wasn't! He's…he's older than me now! No wife, no children! He's all alone and I can't tell him his dad is back next to him. I would have gladly taken care of him but he doesn't even know I'm his dad!"
John pivoted and made as if he was going to walk out, but he stopped short of the door.
"I almost wished you hadn't found him, Jack." John turned around, his eyes glittered overly bright. "I at least had hope before."
Jack lowered his chin and sighed. "Me, too. I'm sorry, John. But this isn't the end. I know it feels like it but it isn't. Not for you."
John laughed bitterly. "So now life goes on?"
"Sometimes, it's the only way," Jack whispered. He eyed his glass of water, tempted to switch. "Sometimes the only thing you can do is to keep living."
John stared at Jack. "The only way?" he repeated.
"You keep living, keep surviving with what you have."
A bitter twist of the mouth answered. "That what you did, Jack?"
Jack matched the intensity of his gaze. He didn't flinch. "Yes," Jack said firmly.
It was the only thing he could do.
Conclusion
Additional Notes: Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soullessminion for betaing this chapter. And trtmx for her magic trick that saved my sanity! LOL.
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/?, Jack/Ianto eventually, het and slash
Rating: NC-17 (betaed)
Summary: He left Jack on the game station. Abandoned. But then…he came back…different. An AU look on what happens if things happened differently. Doctor Who 'verse with Torchwood later on. Be sure to read the warnings.
Warnings: Please read each chapter's individual warnings. Some parts down the road may briefly mention non-con, abuse, and/or violence. Dark in the beginning. Please note there are some dark thoughts as my boys are broken…for now. Each chapter will be labeled for your convenience.
Author's Notes: Please note this is an AU that will cross over DW to TW season one. I'm probably spoiling my own story, but it will eventually be Janto. There's a bit of a journey first. I hope you enjoy. I'm working on this and intend to post regularly every other day. And again, I always believe in happy endings. So without further ado…
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Warning For This Chapter: The slash part of the story here. SMUT. Dark, suicide themes. You were warned. :)
Notes For This Chapter: Note there are parallels to TW's "Out of Time"
Prologue + Ch , Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13,Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18. Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28, Ch 29 Act 1/6, Ch 29 Act 2/6, Ch 29 Act 3/6 & 4/6
Master Fic List: here
Chapter 29 "Out of Time"
Act V: "John's witnessing the end of his world, the end of his line. And we can't help."
December 22
It left a bad taste in his mouth watching John across his desk. The man sniffed loudly, blowing his nose into a handkerchief.
It was the final straw when John couldn't count out the right change for the bus after the nursing home. In a way, Jack could sympathize, but unlike him, John didn't have Torchwood to bury himself in.
When people get older, they tend to get colder, more weatherworn. Jack thought watching what was happening with John, with Emma and Diane, would just be like yet another victim of the Rift. It took and it gave back, whether intact or not, on a whim but it was never personal. Hence, Jack tried to treat it as such, as just one more phenomena Torchwood needed to archive or fix.
There was no way to fix this. Just like him.
Jack watched John take a gulp of the brandy Jack kept in the decanter by his desk. The amber liquid was found in a bottle tucked in a drawer at the bottom. Another artifact from Hopkins' rule. It was already half-empty.
"What is this Rift?" John spoke finally, looking into the snifter with dull eyes.
"We're not really sure."
"Why does it do this? Take people away from their world and abandons them in the future?"
Stomach leaden, Jack couldn't think of a good enough response. Jack could see Ianto and Tosh outside, tentatively orbiting around his office, looking both eager and reluctant to come in. Jack gave a mild headshake to them as John finished his drink. The two exchanged a look, lingered a bit longer before finally returning to their stations. Ianto settled his fingertips on the glass, however, his eyes on Jack in a silent moment of communication before he left.
Jack smiled tiredly. It felt like a hand cupped to the back of his neck again.
"Can't we just go back into this thing?"
Jack leveled a grim gaze at him. "There's no guarantee you'll return back home. I can't even promise you'll come through alright."
"Well you have all these fancy gadgets and machines, can't they take us back?"
Jack stared at him, never averting his gaze as he replied, "No." It would do them no good to hold on to such hope.
John didn't argue with him after that. He didn't offer another suggestion. His broad shoulders dropped and suddenly he looked very small. John felt small, crying on Jack's shoulder by the bus stop. It was only because he thought Jack was lost like him that John allowed himself this one weakness. But Jack wasn't lost. He was trapped, but it was a distinction he couldn't bring himself to point out.
"My boy's a fireman," John said all of the sudden with a little pride. "Just like his old man during the war." He smiled, but then it faltered. "Was. He was a fireman." John set the glass down rubbed his forehead. "I never got to see it."
"I read his record," Jack offered. "He saved many lives. You would be proud—"
"I was proud the moment I held him when he was born!"
Jack's mouth pressed thin. "You can't do anything to change the past—"
"That wasn't the past! It was my life!" John shot up to his feet. "I would have been dead by now and never known what became of my boy!"
"But now you do," Jack pointed out quietly.
John shook his head. He squeezed his eyes shut. "But I didn't want to know this! I would have died with hope, knowing my boy might turn out…how do I live on knowing what I know now? No parent ever wants to know this!" Anguish leeched the color from John's gaze. He looked so old now.
"I still see him sitting on my knee, punching the air. That…that wasn't my boy back there. It wasn't! He's…he's older than me now! No wife, no children! He's all alone and I can't tell him his dad is back next to him. I would have gladly taken care of him but he doesn't even know I'm his dad!"
John pivoted and made as if he was going to walk out, but he stopped short of the door.
"I almost wished you hadn't found him, Jack." John turned around, his eyes glittered overly bright. "I at least had hope before."
Jack lowered his chin and sighed. "Me, too. I'm sorry, John. But this isn't the end. I know it feels like it but it isn't. Not for you."
John laughed bitterly. "So now life goes on?"
"Sometimes, it's the only way," Jack whispered. He eyed his glass of water, tempted to switch. "Sometimes the only thing you can do is to keep living."
John stared at Jack. "The only way?" he repeated.
"You keep living, keep surviving with what you have."
A bitter twist of the mouth answered. "That what you did, Jack?"
Jack matched the intensity of his gaze. He didn't flinch. "Yes," Jack said firmly.
It was the only thing he could do.
Conclusion
Additional Notes: Many thanks to
soullessminion for betaing this chapter. And trtmx for her magic trick that saved my sanity! LOL.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-06-02 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 04:18 am (UTC)